The Theory of Conscious Competence is one I was introduced to this past year. I found myself, then, completely overwhelmed by a goal I had decided to take on. I was in tears of frustration, wondering why I thought I could ever do this. I couldn’t do this. I’d had no idea what I was getting myself into. I believed, at this point, I’d made a mistake that I couldn’t get out of. Fortunately, my husband shared this information with me. Seeing this, broken down into steps, reduced my anxiety which helped me push through that overwhelmed moment. Since that time I have found myself in similar situations but these were easier to talk myself through. I’ve wanted to pass this information along, in case it could also help you. Unless you are a person who never tries anything new – it can!
Have you ever decided you were going to take up a new hobby or learn a new skill? Have you ever been promoted to a new position at work? Have you ever decided to give up a bad habit or set a weight loss goal for yourself? How about a physical challenge you registered yourself for? Have you ever set a New Years Resolution?
If so, you have already experienced Conscious Competence (Learning) many times. It’s likely that some of these experiences were successful and others not so much. I’ve had many of these experiences myself, both successful and not. What is the difference between the two? It is the power of your ‘why’ and knowing if it’s time to push through.
Unconscious Incompetence (Ignorance)
When we set goals for ourselves or decide we are going to try something new, it is often a rather abstract idea. Perhaps we watched someone else accomplish this goal, like losing weight or running a 5k. Perhaps it’s something we have always wanted to try, like learning to play an instrument or a second language. At this stage, we are able to visualize ourselves accomplishing these things but only with an abstract idea of how to get there. In my case, I had decided to become a fitness instructor at age 50 and had registered for training. I had been a student of these type classes for years. I admired my instructor and could see myself on stage, teaching my own class. I believed I had the physical endurance and was bright enough to take this on. I had a position available to me as a sub for my gym, which would have me teaching occasionally. This seemed doable to me. I was excited to get going!
Conscious Incompetence (Awareness)
The second stage of this process is the one that hurts. This is where you get a much more realistic view of what lies between you and your goal. You can visualize yourself crossing the finish line in a half marathon. You have watched friends go through this process and succeed. You consider yourself physically strong. In those first few runs, though, you find out that it is painful, it’s really difficult and you struggled to run just a single mile. Why did you think you could run 13? You may ask yourself – what was I thinking?! Becoming aware of what you signed up for is what Conscious Incompetence is all about. You thought you were going to waltz through this and now realize you have a long road ahead of you. In my situation, I ended up agreeing to sub a fitness class 2 days after I was certified. As a student, I’d never had a difficult time getting through a one hour class. Nobody watched me. I was there for myself. I now found myself having to know choreography well enough to signal changes before they took place. For better or worse, every eye in the class would be on me. I found out I was required to have certain dance types in each class, I could not just choose songs I liked. I found myself working hours a day trying to memorize choreography that would not sink in. And the day I got certified – please. I expected it to increase my confidence but instead, it completely overwhelmed me. I came home in tears saying “I cannot do this. I don’t know why I ever thought I could do this.” I didn’t want to be an instructor anymore. I wanted my previous life back when I just went to class and came home and that was the end of it. IT IS VERY TEMPTING TO QUIT HERE upon realizing how much you didn’t know. Upon realizing how difficult this is actually going to be. Sometimes our “why” is not enough to make it past this point. This doesn’t make us bad or lazy people. We can make an informed decision here, having more knowledge about the effort required to reach our goals.
Conscious competence (Learning)
Congratulations! Reaching this stage means that you have decided to move forward with a realistic view of what will be required to achieve your goal. Conscious Competence is the rewarding part of this journey – you are learning and feeling a sense of accomplishment. A fortunate thing happened to me (if you can call Covid-19 fortunate.) Lock-down happened the day before I was going to sub this first class. This was good because I wasn’t prepared, at that point, to teach. I had put many hours into getting ready, but it was not enough. I was paralyzed with the fear of failure, which would be in full view of all the people taking the class. In the weeks that followed, I had the chance to think things over and started working on my teaching skills in a more realistic way. I cut down on the number of new songs I was expecting of myself. I learned one at a time, using a mirror so I could practice cueing. After a few weeks, I felt confident enough to teach. Covid caused a strange predicament for the fitness world. Gyms were closed but people still wanted and needed to exercise. Many classes had moved onto Zoom and I began to think I could do this as well. I was frightened going into this – but I did it! I did it and, even better, I felt good about it afterward.
Unconscious Competence (Mastery)
This is the last part of learning a new skill. Things that caused us tears of frustration not so long ago we now do with ease. The point where we almost gave up is far behind us. We have gained familiarity with what was once overwhelmed us. I have now been a fitness instructor for five months on Zoom. Each week my husband and I move furniture, put up extra lights, connect my laptop to the router, and run my song list to make sure iTunes isn’t giving me any troubles. I spend around 5 hours each week working on my classes. I have learned ways to promote my class on social media. In the beginning, I experienced almost paralyzing stage fright before each class. My husband would need to talk me down. He no longer does. What I once believed I could not do is now a normal part of my week. A part I find rewarding instead of overwhelming, as it seemed at first.
I’m glad that, in this case, my ‘why’ had enough power to get me to the other side. I have not accomplished everything I’ve set out to in my life. That’s ok. Our time and effort should be applied wisely, to the things we feel will be rewarding once we get there. When I find myself in these situations now, I realize that I recognize it as the point where its natural to feel like quitting. Instead of viewing it in a negative way, I now see it as an opportunity to realistically weigh the effort against the reward. Seeing it as a step of the process takes a lot of emotional sting out of it.
It is good for us to keep in mind that feelings of frustration are not only human but to be expected when we try new things. We are all capable of learning and improving ourselves. Keep this in mind the next time you become overwhelmed. Know it is part of the process and trust the power of your “why” to see you through.
